Even though I probably won’t get another tattoo, I think about this question a lot. I like a lot of text tattoos, so I might get a John Green quote (“In my memory, it doesn’t end. We stayed there, looking at each other, forever.”) or a Harper Lee quote (“Autumn again, and Boo’s children needed him.”) or a Haunted Mansion quote (“Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis.”) Or I might get a picture of Rocket Raccoon. You can see why I doubt I’ll actually get another one.
I saw this question almost a week ago and saved it for a new entry. But I really should stop saving these questions for later. It never ends in a cheerful post.
My job laid me off, with pay and benefits until August. They told me they’re restructuring and my job can be mostly automated now. So it’s back to the job trenches for me, five years the wiser.
While I work to find new work, I’m still writing 500 words a weekday. I’m going to keep on writing, because I need to. Work is important, but so are dreams.
Today we’re going to see John Green talk about tuberculosis. Last time we saw John Green, he talked about obsessive compulsive disorder and gave us a lime green mixer from our wedding registry. The time before that, we saw him at the National Book Festival and he signed my beloved former New York Public Library copy of Paper Towns. And the time before that, I saw him by myself at his tour stop in Bethesda for The Fault in Our Stars – and that’s when I first discovered my local Nerdfighter group, which eventually led me to Luis.
John Green matters very much to me.
I got a copy yesterday, but I haven’t started reading yet because I wanted to be in the right headspace. We’re each getting a copy at the reading today, too, because the book comes with each ticket. So I’m going to be swimming in copies of this book. 😅
Aside from going to the show, it’s also nice to have a day off from work. Something about this year has made being at the office five days a week downright exhausting. But, at the same time, things feel like they’re running more smoothly this year, possibly because I’ve gotten better at my job, but also there’s a new person helping me in my role, which is fantastic. I hope things keep going well. And that’s enough thinking about work on my day off.
This weekend, we’re going to spend Saturday with my family and Sunday with Luis’s parents, celebrating my birthday early. On my birthday, we’re going to Medieval Times with friends so I can reenact The Cable Guy. 😅
In writing news, the 500 words a day plan is going swimmingly. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it helps me feel like I’m in the scene more than it does when I write 2,000 words a day. This is probably unsurprising, but I’ve been programmed to have maximum output, so to slow down and take my time is both a big shift and also… a relief. Things are given more time to develop, which I think will make stronger scenes. Also things will be easier for me to edit without feeling like I’m losing a ton of words in the process, because I imagine the scenes will require additions instead of subtractions.
I’m plantsing my way through this one. Can you tell?
When I walked to my bus yesterday, I thought about my Nerdfighter novel and things to change to make it better. Even when I’m not working on stories, I’m still thinking about them.
This year has been so overwhelming and it’s only March. 😵 I’m caught between wanting to know what’s going on and feeling depressed and helpless when I do read about things.
A sense of unreality settles in at times. How can any of this be real? How/Why are we letting it happen?
I wrote on my various social media pages on Monday morning: I will try to enjoy each day in some way. Sort of an “it’s the little things” mantra, but we all need the little things right now, don’t we?
I keep thinking about the next time we go to Disney and our next trips this year (yes, in that order. I love Disney parks.) Having things to look forward to keeps me going. Right now, they’re just dreams, though. But it’s good to have dreams.
When I started planning my latest novel, I considered my options for writing it each day and not feeling so burdened by word count goals. I read that successful authors like Graham Greene and Ernest Hemingway wrote five hundred words a day. I’ve been following their lead and, so far, it’s going well. I like that I can feel a bit more immersed in the scenes I’m working on instead of being so hung up on the idea of quotas and “gotta finish this chapter in one sitting.” I can sit with things a little longer, which allows both myself and my story to breathe.
My new novel involves time travel, confronting past selves, and accidentally falling in love along the way. If you like Sophie Cousens, you will like it. That’s my goal, anyway. It’s currently sitting pretty at 3,000 words. 😅
Enjoy each day in some way, my friends. Take care of yourselves.
Luis and I had a wonderful, fun vacation in California last week. It was so wonderful that I was genuinely sad to return home. We went to Hollywood for a few days, exploring the Walk of Fame area and a museum full of costumes and Max Factor makeup history, then Universal to check out the new Nintendoland (amazing!) and Disney to ride Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout for the first time. We ended up riding it four times. None of which included a working Rocket Raccoon animatronic, but I’ll get over it. Eventually.
We also rode The Haunted Mansion fourteen times. I’m not exaggerating.
We’re planning to go back again in a few years. Luis event mentioned we could retire in California and get resident passes. 🥹 That is the dream.
I managed to avoid much of the political craziness while we were enjoying our trip. It’s overwhelming, in a lot of ways. I know I’m extremely privileged to be able to go away and not think about stuff for a while, but it’s hard not to feel powerless right now.
Yesterday, I started writing my new novel, and Luis started reading the draft of my other novel. I’m trying to take it easy this time and not push myself so much to write 2k every day. I was starting to feel burnt out and like it was work instead of pleasure. There’s no sense in the first draft being so stressful. It’s not like I have real deadlines (yet.) I wrote an opening scene, and that was a good start.
Anyone else watch The Oscars? I missed it on Sunday since we were flying back that day, but we watched a recording on Monday. I had a feeling Anora would do really well when we saw it in theaters months ago. I have a lot of good-looking movies to check out now, too. Flow looks adorable.
Mostly I’m trying to enjoy each week regardless of what plans we have on the horizon. We haven’t made plans for our anniversary yet this year, and though it’s gnawing at me, I’m not stressing as much. We have time.
I recently listened to Peter Gabriel’s Scratch My Back and And I’ll Scratch Yours albums. They remind me of when I’ve tried to get people in on my creative projects. I once had a video collaboration channel on YouTube with some friends; that’s the first example that comes to mind, but I’ve had other attempts at getting people to collaborate with me over the years. It’s rough. People have their own lives and schedules. I get it. But it’s also frustrating and disheartening when people fail to follow through and abandon things, especially when they’re things I’ve put my whole heart into. (No grievance or anything toward my video collab friends. It’s not easy to keep up the enthusiasm on a weekly basis.)
Peter Gabriel’s two albums are like that, because he recorded covers of various artists’ songs in the hopes that they’d return the favor and cover one of his songs. Several of them did, but several didn’t… and a few of them delayed the album because their covers came in late. (Looking at you, Regina Spektor.) I feel for him, because his zest for creative collaboration is always at the forefront of his musical projects. Similarly, Paul McCartney wanted Sgt. Pepper to be a concept album and only got two songs into it before it fell apart. Not my favorite Beatles album by any means, but I can empathize with him.
I can also understand the other three not wanting Paul to tell them what to do.
Speaking of Sir Paul, did you watch the Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary Special? It was… not what I hoped for. 😬 A lot of people have said “watch the documentaries if you want to see the older stuff” but that’s no excuse for those sketches they performed. Most of them were too recent to even feel special. My favorite was when Linda Richman (Mike Myers) appeared on Bronx Beat, but it was awkwardly long. I was glad to see Laraine Newman and Garrett Morris getting some love, but if it was up to me there would have been a much better balance between the older players and the newer ones.
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg’s songs were my favorite parts. Adam Sandler really loves his friends.
The writing break is going well. I still think about my stories all the time, but in a laid back sort of way. I’m looking forward to jumping back into writing when we come back from our trip.
We’re flying to California on Saturday. It’s going to be fine. There are thousands of flights every day. It’s going to be fine. I’m looking forward to warmer temperatures and being inside the original Haunted Mansion as many times as possible while still doing other things. 😄
It feels as though a million things are happening right around our travels. Isn’t that always the way? I have a bunch of stressful things to do at work, meanwhile we have to get our bathroom renovated (again.) The guys who fixed our shower two years ago didn’t really fix the problem; they caused new ones instead. So we’ve got a nice, new plumber who’s going to work on fixing our shower stall and flooring so things don’t leak.
What a concept.
For Valentine’s Day, since it’s our dating anniversary, we’re going to stay at the hotel where we got married. 😊 We got a lakeview room, and reservations at a fancy nearby restaurant. We’re also going to explore the shops around and see Captain America: Brave New World. It’s going to be a nice weekend.
And then, the following weekend, we fly off to California. We spent time with friends last weekend, one of whom is a pilot, so he told us what went wrong with the helicopter and the plane near the Potomac River. He also assured us that flying is safe, especially from Dulles Airport rather than National. That was comforting. Of course, I already knew that there are way more car accidents than airplane crashes. It’s still a rare thing, even if the news has a lot of them lately…
I’ve already read one of my comp books (comparable to my story, for those wondering what “comp” means) but I still bought an e-reader version so I could reread it and reference it for influence. That’s one thing that’s difficult about not owning comps; if I need to check something, I have to get them back from the library. My story that I’m currently outlining is very different from the other novels I’ve written thus far, so I want to make sure I’m plotting things in a way that makes sense. There are rules for time travel.
Luis read through my outline and gave me some good advice that’s made me even more excited by this new idea. Taking a break from writing and letting myself think about things has been very good for me so far. At the beginning of March, when I start writing, I’ll hopefully have an easier time getting going. My last story benefited tremendously from having a solid outline, so I feel optimistic.
Escaping into novels has been the perfect thing for my otherwise anxious brain.
As usual, I’m getting into a TV show that’s several years old. Luis and I recently started watching Hacks, and it’s so clever. I admit, I initially wanted to watch it because Hannah Einbinder is Laraine Newman’s daughter. Before checking it out, I watched some of her standup, and she’s funny. I love her voices. It’s fun to see her and Jean Smart together.
Aside from Hacks, we’ve been watching another Hollywood-focused show called Death by Fame. It’s mostly about famous people or “famous” people losing their minds and killing people. Sometimes they get killed themselves, but I’ve noticed it’s mostly the “famous” people who snap. Some of the episodes are a stretch. Others are really good, because they introduce me to actors or whatever I may never have noticed before. I had no idea Drew Carey once had a fiancée who was murdered. ☹️
I’m looking forward to our trip to L.A. this month. I’m a little nervous, too, because of the airplane stuff that’s been happening, and the fires. Thankfully, it looks like the fires have been contained. This year already feels so strange, and it’s only the beginning of February.
For all of February, I’m taking a break from writing, to give my brain a break. I’ve been reading The Book Swap by Tessa Bickers. It’s really cute so far. There’s a deceased character in it, and it’s really creative how she writes about her. She’s not quite a ghost, but she’s ghost-esque. You know I love ghosts.
This weekend, we’re going to play board games with one of Luis’s old friends. She was in our wedding, and we haven’t seen her in far too long. And then on Sunday, we’re going to the movies and other things to avoid the big football game. We do not partake. 😝
Went to bed last night with the news of the airplane/military helicopter crash at one of our local airports. It’s shocking and bizarre, and I both hope it was just an accident and also have to ask HOW did such a horrible accident happen?
I already kind of hate this year. ☹️
I started out this blog post draft with a writing prompt answer. The mood was a bit different then…
Daily writing prompt
Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.
I still haven’t visited Frederick, MD even though I’ve heard good things about it and I know some people who live there. It looks pretty, from photos I’ve seen. We’re going there for a friend’s wedding this spring! I’m looking forward to finally experiencing it. The wedding just so happens to be on a weekend with a 14th, so Luis and I can celebrate that a little, too. ☺️
I’m currently reading a book I think will be a good comp for my next novel, but I asked my favorite literary agent from TSNOTYAW if it’s okay for an American author to use U.K. authors as comps. The lived experiences of the characters are somewhat different, but the feelings and themes are still there.
It’s nice to have reassurance sometimes.
On the revising front, I’m getting near the end of my second read-through round of edits. Then I’m going to take February off to give myself a break from thinking about it (as much as I can.) In March, Luis will be my alpha reader. Because he’s helpful.
I hope you’re doing okay in these scary times. I’ve found reading to be much more solace than social media these days. It always has been, but now it’s even more obvious that social media is not good for you.
Have you ever had such an intense dream/nightmare that you’ve woken up with a headache? That happened to me last week, and it was quite frightening. I’ve been thinking about it ever since; the funny thing is, I can’t remember much of the dream itself, just the intense emotion and headache.
In writing news, my systematic approach to editing is going well, if I do say so myself. I’m only reading three (or so) chapters a day; making changes and neatening things up as I go. Once again, I’m finding the editing and revising stage to be eye-opening and a fun challenge for myself. Am I a rare breed of writer who actually likes editing??
I also think I’ve matured as a writer as I’ve gained experience and listened to weekly* The Shit No One Tells You About Writing episodes. I have no idea how people with full-time jobs can attend conferences and writers retreats. I’m an eager listener/reader of their advice when they return with it, though! Surely that counts for something.
Once the story is in Luis’s hands — digitally, actually — I plan to start plotting out my new story idea and maybe even start writing it. I hope to be a little more chill when drafting this time. The NaNoWriMo style of writing (ie. making sure to write roughly 2k words a day) is handy for getting the novel done in a shorter amount of time, but there’s no reason to rush the writing process, especially because all of it takes time!
Luis will be happier if I’m not writing for hours and hours every day, too. I can’t write at 5 AM like certain authors, or late at night. I’m solidly an afternoon creative, and having a job makes that… a challenge. So my goal with my next novel is to be finished writing the first draft by December? That seems loose enough.
*Nearly weekly, anyway. I do have a life that sometimes gets in the way. 😉
I joined the Dear Hank and John Patreon livestream on Wednesday and they announced that tickets were on sale for John Green’s new book tour, for Everything is Tuberculosis! As soon as I got home, Luis and I got tickets. I’m so excited! It feels a little odd to be excited since I’m sure it’s going to also be sad and frustrating to learn about, but I’m still excited to see him again and hear his latest work. We haven’t seen John in person since 2017, when he gave us a lime green Kitchenaid mixer as a wedding present. Something like that’s not going to happen again, but it will still be a great show.
John and Hank Green led to Luis and me meeting, so I couldn’t pass up the chance to see John again. Hopefully Hank will come to D.C. again someday, too.
Many places in Los Angeles have been burned in wildfires, which is scary and sad, and nerve-wracking because we’re going to be there in a little over a month. I’ve donated to redcross.org to help. Los Angeles has been on my mind a lot over the past week.
And then there’s this whole thing with Neil Gaiman. *Deep Sigh*
In writing news, I finished listening to my novel (as read by a phone app!) Luis listened along with me, and he told me he really likes it, though he’s a bit biased. 😏 Now the goal is to read it through and make edits. Thankfully, I didn’t find anything glaring that needs to change, plotwise, so that’s a relief. Restructuring and rewriting really did the trick.
I’m currently reading How to End a Love Story by Yulin Kuang and I really like it. I’ve noticed that she repeats the descriptor “Victorian” all the time, which is amusing because it escaped edits and read-throughs for her. It makes me think about what words or phrases I might’ve overused. I’ll focus on fixing things like that this first go-around of editing.
Sara Mazariegos 