Even though I probably won’t get another tattoo, I think about this question a lot. I like a lot of text tattoos, so I might get a John Green quote (“In my memory, it doesn’t end. We stayed there, looking at each other, forever.”) or a Harper Lee quote (“Autumn again, and Boo’s children needed him.”) or a Haunted Mansion quote (“Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis.”) Or I might get a picture of Rocket Raccoon. You can see why I doubt I’ll actually get another one.
I saw this question almost a week ago and saved it for a new entry. But I really should stop saving these questions for later. It never ends in a cheerful post.
My job laid me off, with pay and benefits until August. They told me they’re restructuring and my job can be mostly automated now. So it’s back to the job trenches for me, five years the wiser.
While I work to find new work, I’m still writing 500 words a weekday. I’m going to keep on writing, because I need to. Work is important, but so are dreams.
Today we’re going to see John Green talk about tuberculosis. Last time we saw John Green, he talked about obsessive compulsive disorder and gave us a lime green mixer from our wedding registry. The time before that, we saw him at the National Book Festival and he signed my beloved former New York Public Library copy of Paper Towns. And the time before that, I saw him by myself at his tour stop in Bethesda for The Fault in Our Stars – and that’s when I first discovered my local Nerdfighter group, which eventually led me to Luis.
John Green matters very much to me.
I got a copy yesterday, but I haven’t started reading yet because I wanted to be in the right headspace. We’re each getting a copy at the reading today, too, because the book comes with each ticket. So I’m going to be swimming in copies of this book. 😅
Aside from going to the show, it’s also nice to have a day off from work. Something about this year has made being at the office five days a week downright exhausting. But, at the same time, things feel like they’re running more smoothly this year, possibly because I’ve gotten better at my job, but also there’s a new person helping me in my role, which is fantastic. I hope things keep going well. And that’s enough thinking about work on my day off.
This weekend, we’re going to spend Saturday with my family and Sunday with Luis’s parents, celebrating my birthday early. On my birthday, we’re going to Medieval Times with friends so I can reenact The Cable Guy. 😅
In writing news, the 500 words a day plan is going swimmingly. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it helps me feel like I’m in the scene more than it does when I write 2,000 words a day. This is probably unsurprising, but I’ve been programmed to have maximum output, so to slow down and take my time is both a big shift and also… a relief. Things are given more time to develop, which I think will make stronger scenes. Also things will be easier for me to edit without feeling like I’m losing a ton of words in the process, because I imagine the scenes will require additions instead of subtractions.
I’m plantsing my way through this one. Can you tell?
When I walked to my bus yesterday, I thought about my Nerdfighter novel and things to change to make it better. Even when I’m not working on stories, I’m still thinking about them.
This year has been so overwhelming and it’s only March. 😵 I’m caught between wanting to know what’s going on and feeling depressed and helpless when I do read about things.
A sense of unreality settles in at times. How can any of this be real? How/Why are we letting it happen?
I wrote on my various social media pages on Monday morning: I will try to enjoy each day in some way. Sort of an “it’s the little things” mantra, but we all need the little things right now, don’t we?
I keep thinking about the next time we go to Disney and our next trips this year (yes, in that order. I love Disney parks.) Having things to look forward to keeps me going. Right now, they’re just dreams, though. But it’s good to have dreams.
When I started planning my latest novel, I considered my options for writing it each day and not feeling so burdened by word count goals. I read that successful authors like Graham Greene and Ernest Hemingway wrote five hundred words a day. I’ve been following their lead and, so far, it’s going well. I like that I can feel a bit more immersed in the scenes I’m working on instead of being so hung up on the idea of quotas and “gotta finish this chapter in one sitting.” I can sit with things a little longer, which allows both myself and my story to breathe.
My new novel involves time travel, confronting past selves, and accidentally falling in love along the way. If you like Sophie Cousens, you will like it. That’s my goal, anyway. It’s currently sitting pretty at 3,000 words. 😅
Enjoy each day in some way, my friends. Take care of yourselves.
Luis and I had a wonderful, fun vacation in California last week. It was so wonderful that I was genuinely sad to return home. We went to Hollywood for a few days, exploring the Walk of Fame area and a museum full of costumes and Max Factor makeup history, then Universal to check out the new Nintendoland (amazing!) and Disney to ride Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout for the first time. We ended up riding it four times. None of which included a working Rocket Raccoon animatronic, but I’ll get over it. Eventually.
We also rode The Haunted Mansion fourteen times. I’m not exaggerating.
We’re planning to go back again in a few years. Luis event mentioned we could retire in California and get resident passes. 🥹 That is the dream.
I managed to avoid much of the political craziness while we were enjoying our trip. It’s overwhelming, in a lot of ways. I know I’m extremely privileged to be able to go away and not think about stuff for a while, but it’s hard not to feel powerless right now.
Yesterday, I started writing my new novel, and Luis started reading the draft of my other novel. I’m trying to take it easy this time and not push myself so much to write 2k every day. I was starting to feel burnt out and like it was work instead of pleasure. There’s no sense in the first draft being so stressful. It’s not like I have real deadlines (yet.) I wrote an opening scene, and that was a good start.
Anyone else watch The Oscars? I missed it on Sunday since we were flying back that day, but we watched a recording on Monday. I had a feeling Anora would do really well when we saw it in theaters months ago. I have a lot of good-looking movies to check out now, too. Flow looks adorable.
Mostly I’m trying to enjoy each week regardless of what plans we have on the horizon. We haven’t made plans for our anniversary yet this year, and though it’s gnawing at me, I’m not stressing as much. We have time.
I recently listened to Peter Gabriel’s Scratch My Back and And I’ll Scratch Yours albums. They remind me of when I’ve tried to get people in on my creative projects. I once had a video collaboration channel on YouTube with some friends; that’s the first example that comes to mind, but I’ve had other attempts at getting people to collaborate with me over the years. It’s rough. People have their own lives and schedules. I get it. But it’s also frustrating and disheartening when people fail to follow through and abandon things, especially when they’re things I’ve put my whole heart into. (No grievance or anything toward my video collab friends. It’s not easy to keep up the enthusiasm on a weekly basis.)
Peter Gabriel’s two albums are like that, because he recorded covers of various artists’ songs in the hopes that they’d return the favor and cover one of his songs. Several of them did, but several didn’t… and a few of them delayed the album because their covers came in late. (Looking at you, Regina Spektor.) I feel for him, because his zest for creative collaboration is always at the forefront of his musical projects. Similarly, Paul McCartney wanted Sgt. Pepper to be a concept album and only got two songs into it before it fell apart. Not my favorite Beatles album by any means, but I can empathize with him.
I can also understand the other three not wanting Paul to tell them what to do.
Speaking of Sir Paul, did you watch the Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary Special? It was… not what I hoped for. 😬 A lot of people have said “watch the documentaries if you want to see the older stuff” but that’s no excuse for those sketches they performed. Most of them were too recent to even feel special. My favorite was when Linda Richman (Mike Myers) appeared on Bronx Beat, but it was awkwardly long. I was glad to see Laraine Newman and Garrett Morris getting some love, but if it was up to me there would have been a much better balance between the older players and the newer ones.
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg’s songs were my favorite parts. Adam Sandler really loves his friends.
The writing break is going well. I still think about my stories all the time, but in a laid back sort of way. I’m looking forward to jumping back into writing when we come back from our trip.
We’re flying to California on Saturday. It’s going to be fine. There are thousands of flights every day. It’s going to be fine. I’m looking forward to warmer temperatures and being inside the original Haunted Mansion as many times as possible while still doing other things. 😄
It feels as though a million things are happening right around our travels. Isn’t that always the way? I have a bunch of stressful things to do at work, meanwhile we have to get our bathroom renovated (again.) The guys who fixed our shower two years ago didn’t really fix the problem; they caused new ones instead. So we’ve got a nice, new plumber who’s going to work on fixing our shower stall and flooring so things don’t leak.
What a concept.
For Valentine’s Day, since it’s our dating anniversary, we’re going to stay at the hotel where we got married. 😊 We got a lakeview room, and reservations at a fancy nearby restaurant. We’re also going to explore the shops around and see Captain America: Brave New World. It’s going to be a nice weekend.
And then, the following weekend, we fly off to California. We spent time with friends last weekend, one of whom is a pilot, so he told us what went wrong with the helicopter and the plane near the Potomac River. He also assured us that flying is safe, especially from Dulles Airport rather than National. That was comforting. Of course, I already knew that there are way more car accidents than airplane crashes. It’s still a rare thing, even if the news has a lot of them lately…
I’ve already read one of my comp books (comparable to my story, for those wondering what “comp” means) but I still bought an e-reader version so I could reread it and reference it for influence. That’s one thing that’s difficult about not owning comps; if I need to check something, I have to get them back from the library. My story that I’m currently outlining is very different from the other novels I’ve written thus far, so I want to make sure I’m plotting things in a way that makes sense. There are rules for time travel.
Luis read through my outline and gave me some good advice that’s made me even more excited by this new idea. Taking a break from writing and letting myself think about things has been very good for me so far. At the beginning of March, when I start writing, I’ll hopefully have an easier time getting going. My last story benefited tremendously from having a solid outline, so I feel optimistic.
Escaping into novels has been the perfect thing for my otherwise anxious brain.
As usual, I’m getting into a TV show that’s several years old. Luis and I recently started watching Hacks, and it’s so clever. I admit, I initially wanted to watch it because Hannah Einbinder is Laraine Newman’s daughter. Before checking it out, I watched some of her standup, and she’s funny. I love her voices. It’s fun to see her and Jean Smart together.
Aside from Hacks, we’ve been watching another Hollywood-focused show called Death by Fame. It’s mostly about famous people or “famous” people losing their minds and killing people. Sometimes they get killed themselves, but I’ve noticed it’s mostly the “famous” people who snap. Some of the episodes are a stretch. Others are really good, because they introduce me to actors or whatever I may never have noticed before. I had no idea Drew Carey once had a fiancée who was murdered. ☹️
I’m looking forward to our trip to L.A. this month. I’m a little nervous, too, because of the airplane stuff that’s been happening, and the fires. Thankfully, it looks like the fires have been contained. This year already feels so strange, and it’s only the beginning of February.
For all of February, I’m taking a break from writing, to give my brain a break. I’ve been reading The Book Swap by Tessa Bickers. It’s really cute so far. There’s a deceased character in it, and it’s really creative how she writes about her. She’s not quite a ghost, but she’s ghost-esque. You know I love ghosts.
This weekend, we’re going to play board games with one of Luis’s old friends. She was in our wedding, and we haven’t seen her in far too long. And then on Sunday, we’re going to the movies and other things to avoid the big football game. We do not partake. 😝
Went to bed last night with the news of the airplane/military helicopter crash at one of our local airports. It’s shocking and bizarre, and I both hope it was just an accident and also have to ask HOW did such a horrible accident happen?
I already kind of hate this year. ☹️
I started out this blog post draft with a writing prompt answer. The mood was a bit different then…
Daily writing prompt
Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.
I still haven’t visited Frederick, MD even though I’ve heard good things about it and I know some people who live there. It looks pretty, from photos I’ve seen. We’re going there for a friend’s wedding this spring! I’m looking forward to finally experiencing it. The wedding just so happens to be on a weekend with a 14th, so Luis and I can celebrate that a little, too. ☺️
I’m currently reading a book I think will be a good comp for my next novel, but I asked my favorite literary agent from TSNOTYAW if it’s okay for an American author to use U.K. authors as comps. The lived experiences of the characters are somewhat different, but the feelings and themes are still there.
It’s nice to have reassurance sometimes.
On the revising front, I’m getting near the end of my second read-through round of edits. Then I’m going to take February off to give myself a break from thinking about it (as much as I can.) In March, Luis will be my alpha reader. Because he’s helpful.
I hope you’re doing okay in these scary times. I’ve found reading to be much more solace than social media these days. It always has been, but now it’s even more obvious that social media is not good for you.
I must admit, I’m still in a bit of a holiday stupor, not helped by the fact that I’m back at work on a Thursday. Is everyone feeling a bit confused about what day it is and what we’re supposed to be doing?
My calendars are up and my work planner has been updated with the holidays and vacation days I’ve solidified thus far. I just have to get to February 14th without pulling my hair out and I’ll be fine.
We had a nice holiday break together. It was nice just to be together and relax. We went to the National Zoo on New Year’s Eve (Zoo Year’s) and then had an impromptu dinner at a Turkish place because the Thai place we’d booked wasn’t open for when we made our reservation. Thanks, automated reservation services (in this case, Google.) The Turkish place was more memorable than the Thai place probably would’ve been anyway, though.
For Christmas, I received a few books. One of my light resolutions this year is that I will only read books I currently own as of 1/1/2025. I have a library book, so I can read that, obviously. Books on my Amazon Fire also count. I’m excited to go through my bookshelves and actually read the books there instead of finding books elsewhere all the time.
As far as writing, I’ve still been taking a break from my It’s A Wonderful Life novel. I give myself at least the recommended two weeks between writing and reading the complete draft. I’m going to read it next week, and I hopefully won’t cringe too much. I’m excited to keep working on it and sprucing it up until it’s ready to query.
In the meantime, of course I’ve thought up another novel idea. I’m always thinking of something.
I finished writing my novel’s second draft on Monday! 🎉 It was much easier to write this time, largely because I retooled my outline and gave myself enough time to really think it through before writing it all out. We watched It’s A Wonderful Life again on the 14th, and it inspired my final push to the end. My novel is very different, but it’s influenced by that movie, sort of like how Planes, Trains, and All The Feels by Livy Hart is clearly inspired by Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It gave me the initial “Hey! I want to do that!” inspiration.
I can’t remember if I’ve shared this story here, but my parents have watched It’s A Wonderful Life every Christmas Eve my entire life. It’s as much a Christmas tradition for me as putting up a decorated tree or opening presents. I still watch it every holiday season, though not on Christmas Eve since that’s become the evening we spend with Luis’s family.
When I was around seven years old, I noticed I couldn’t hear in my right ear. I remember being on the phone with my grandpa and I couldn’t hear him if I switched which ear the phone was up against. I remember thinking, “Huh, that’s weird. I wonder if everyone’s ears are like that.” (I was young.)
I voiced my concern a few years later, because my friends were playing Telephone at a party — another telephone! — and I couldn’t hear the messages being whispered into my right ear. In moments of panic, I just made things up and passed those messages along instead. My friends kept being like, “Where did the message get messed up??” and looking at me. Now, I was a strange and silly child, but in this instance I wasn’t trying to deviate! I was embarrassed about not being able to hear. Looking back, I know I could’ve just turned my head and insisted on using the ear that hears, but at the time it felt like it would break the rules…
When I told my family, they thought I was pretending to be George Bailey because I’d seen that movie every year and I had a penchant for pretending to be my favorite characters.
Now, that’s one thing, but when I was in school, for the hearing test they used to give us with the headphones and the hand raising if you hear the tone on one side or the other, I used to wait until there was a pause and the tester was looking at me expectantly, and then I’d dutifully raise my right hand. “Oh yeah, I definitely heard that…” [Not.]
It wasn’t until I was fifteen that I finally stopped faking and honestly took that test. My parents were told I should go see an ear, nose, and throat doctor. I did more hearing tests. My right cochlea doesn’t work. Records were checked. Apparently, I’ve been deaf in that ear since I was two years old, after a bad fever and ear infection.
So I love George Bailey because I identify with him. Sure, I didn’t save anyone from a frozen lake, but I have the same hearing loss! One thing I noticed this year is that George situates himself at the table with his father on his bad side. I’d never do that! I always make sure the people I’m most trying to hear are on my “good side.” That’s to say nothing of the balance issues he probably should display, etc.
Maybe that’s why he trips at the dance.
Anyway, I finished my writing draft. This is the nifty chart. I’m going to take a break from it for at least two weeks. How handy that the holidays are at the same time. 😄
I hope you have happy holidays and a happy, joyous New Year! Try not to stress too much about the future. That’s probably my resolution.
P.S. The “George Bailey” character in my novel doesn’t have hearing loss. That would be too similar to the original. I gave him something else of mine: he has car anxiety.
Sara Mazariegos 