Tag: Childhood

“Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for.”

Sara Mazariegos

When I was in seventh grade, at the start of middle school, I decided I wanted a nickname. The trouble was that I didn’t really have a nickname, so I tried to test one out by only telling one of my classes — Intro to Foreign Languages — to call me Shelly. I didn’t count on one of my classmates in that class being in one of my other classes… She approached me and said something like, “You told us to call you Shelly in one class, but you don’t go by that name in this class.”

So, Shelly never really caught on.

It’s funny how I don’t remember the girl’s name. I remember her as Spoilsport. 😝

Growing up, I always wanted a nickname. My name is so short that I don’t really need one. I invented all my own nicknames. Other ones are Sar Bear, Sar Bear Extraordinaire, SBE (all the same, and all used by a specific friend group but 100% invented by me.) I also got one friend to call me Pizza for like a year. And Luis just reminded me about the time when I was twelve and told a friend’s visiting friend (from England!) that my nickname was Gadget. I was big into Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers at the time. This friend’s friend went along with it because he’d just met me and had no reason to question me. My friend called me out on it right away. Curses! I still think it would be so awesome to be called Gadget.

But Sara, stop trying to make “Gadget” a thing. It’s not a thing.

Speaking of nostalgia, I finally started clearing out my emails in my main inbox. I had nearly a million (I know!) so it’s, uh, past time for this. I went all the way back to my oldest emails in 2009 and I’ve been working my way through, only keeping emails I want to keep for sentimental purposes. I’ll probably eventually still delete many of the literary roleplaying game ones, but for now, they can stay.

I found the Facebook notification from when Luis added me, back in January 2012. 🥲 And his messages on a dating site (after we met in person, at a Nerdfighter gathering!) Those will all definitely be kept in my virtual shoebox.

I don’t know why I’ve been so nostalgic lately. It might have something to do with the fact that the future is looking more scary…

Anyway, in writing news, I got to 74,000 words yesterday. It’s going so well, it’s almost boring to blog about, haha! Everything’s falling into place, unlike last time I attempted writing this novel. I’ve deviated slightly from my outline, but only because other ideas came to me that move the story forward in a better way. I’m looking forward to being done (tentatively on Monday!) And then I can read the thing, after a Christmas/New Years break.

Do you hang onto anything because of nostalgia? At least emails don’t take up space in my house, though I only have so much space in my inbox.

Nostalgically yours,

Mojo dojo casa house.

Sara Mazariegos

When I was a kid, I had a lot of hand-me-downs from my older sister. She was born in 1980, so it meant I had a lot of cool, older toys. I had Barbies with fun, eighties styles that hung out with my newer, nineties dolls. I had a Soda Shoppe playset that I used to pretend served the concessions for ‘drive-in’ movies in my parents’ den.

Those tiny hot dogs and buns were frustrating to work with. The stools doubled as cups for human consumption of the soda.

My dolls didn’t live in the classic, pink Dream House. They lived in my sister’s version, from the 80s. It was yellow for some reason, but it was still eleganza.

Many a cat also lived in that house. Most probably not by choice.

One ‘new’ thing my Barbies had was a Porsche Boxter with a working convertible roof.

Whenever Barbie or Ariel or Megara (I had a lot of Disney dolls) wanted to go to the drive-in, she’d roll up in that beauty.

The Barbie movie made me wistful.

America Ferrera’s monologue was the only part that made me cry, though it doesn’t have as much to do with Barbie as it has to do with society’s treatment/expectations of women.

I really liked it. I also liked Oppenheimer, but not as much.

It’s been 84 years…

Sara Mazariegos

Actually, it’s been over 111 years.

Everyone’s talking about the Titanic now because a tourist submersible apparently got lost trying to explore it in the depths of the Atlantic (not exactly a surprise.) Rich tourists are gonna rich tourist… It boggles my mind that people actually want to go down into the deepest ocean to look at the wreckage when a) there are photographs of it, b) it’s slowly breaking down and becoming one with the ocean floor*, and c) it’s creepy as heck.

I was ten when Titanic came out and the big 90s craze happened. There have been many other Titanic crazes since the sinking, because people are fascinated by catastrophes and frivolous wealth and death. But when I was ten, I read a picture book about it and watched a made-for-TV movie about it (starring Tim Curry!) and I. was. terrified.

I had nightmares about my bedroom actually being a stateroom aboard the ship, sinking and drowning me until I woke up screaming. I dreamt about drenched ghosts in my bedroom doorway. Then I watched some TV documentary about finding the wreckage and the nightmares continued.

Suffice it to say, I didn’t see the James Cameron movie in theatres until years later. Oh, I saw it though. I owned it on VHS and watched it like a true masochist. Occasionally, I’d only watch the first half, saving myself from seeing those poor, dead, frozen mannequins.

So, you can imagine it’s been an interesting time for me this past week, with all of this new Titanic news. I made the mistake of googling photos of the wreckage while on my lunch break on Monday. One of the things that most stayed with me from the documentary I saw in around 1999 was that the clock on the wall was reduced to a yellow circle where the clock used to be. I don’t know why that gave me such heebie-jeebies, but it did. I couldn’t find any photos of that. It might not even be a yellow circle on the wall anymore.

The wall may not exist anymore.

Eventually, all of the wreckage will be gone. Especially if people keep joyriding down there to see it like it’s not a giant, rusted gravesite.


*such wonderful tings surround you / what more is you lookin’ for?

[Edited 6/22/23 to add] They found debris that indicates a “catastrophic implosion.” The 5 people in the submersible are dead. The silver lining, I suppose, is that there’s no mystery. They were technically found.

I’m probably not going to sleep well for a few days. Gahhh. Rest in peace, people. I disagree with what you did, but that’s a horrible way to die.

#Goals.

Sara Mazariegos

When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A cat. I remember my kindergarten had a “circus day” and I was dressed like a little tiger. I was always crawling around, pretending to be animals. I didn’t actually have career aspirations; I simply wished to change species. When I was a little older, I read Animorphs and envied Rachel for getting to be a cat.

In middle school, I had dreams of being in Cats. I religiously watched my VHS copy of the PBS-televised Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, copying the dance moves in my parents’ living room. I was taking ballet, tap, and jazz dance at the time. I thought I was Broadway-bound for sure.

We all know how that turned out.