Tag: Inspiration

Oh, Superman, where are you now when everything’s gone wrong somehow?

Sara Mazariegos

It may just be because I’ve been thrown a few curveballs lately, but time has been going by weirdly for me this year. I both can’t believe we’re already in the middle of May, and I’m also surprised the year is going slowly. It feels like we went to Disneyland last year, but it was only three months ago! Hopefully things will feel more normal soon, now that things have settled. *knocks on wood*

All of the movie remakes annoy me, generally, but I feel like the only person who’s not awed by the new-old Lilo & Stitch and How to Train Your Dragon. The animation of Stitch and Toothless is cute, but that’s because they’re just CGI versions of the already cute, animated originals. Why bother making these remakes? The originals are better. Just show your kids the originals.

Also, they did Pleakley dirty.

It amuses me that Google red-underlines Pleakley and I get shocked by it. It’s a made up name, self.

“That’s not a real name… in Iceland. But here it’s a good name!”

Sometimes I think about how many franchises there are. There are too many for any one person to be interested in all of them. But at the same time, there are quite a few I’m not into and it feels like everyone else is. Like Bridgerton. Or The Fast & The Furious. I have no problem with people liking them, but I have zero interest. It feels, to me, a little bit like how everyone has their own lives and you don’t really see how they are or what they’re doing, but you know they’re out there living them anyway.

There are exceptions. Obviously I’m not interested in Harry Potter anymore, and it gives me the ick when I see people who are. I was also never one of those people who made HP my life, though. But that’s a different issue. Vin Diesel’s not a transphobe, that I know of. He just makes movies I don’t care about.

My writing is going well, and I’m having a lot of fun with it. I realized I’ve been setting a lot of self-imposed deadlines which made things more stressful than they need to be, especially since I don’t have an agent or a publisher waiting for a draft or anything like that (yet.) I edit one novel about half an hour each day, and I write another novel for a half hour each day while I’m at work. It allows me to devote some time to each of them every day without feeling pressure to write for hours and have it done by a specific time. My goal is to get my It’s A Wonderful Life-inspired novel ready for beta readers by next month. But we’ll see. I’m going easy on myself.

I started getting some further inspiration for another rewrite project, so I’m planning to work on the plot development for that as well. I’ll probably actually start writing that new draft the beginning of next year.

Loosey-goosey is my new mantra.

I put myself back in the narrative.

Sara Mazariegos

Wow, this is an entirely different post than I thought I was going to post this week.

After a week of being anxious and sick with worry, applying anywhere and everywhere that was hiring little ol’ admins like me, barely being able to enjoy my birthday or movies or writing because of the stress, I have a new job! I start tomorrow. It feels imaginary. It feels too good to be true. I hope I hope I hope it goes well and I like it and it’s as good a fit as it feels.

I’m still going to be free on weekends. I’m still going to have PTO. I’m not going to have benefits, but those can be bought at a price that works for us. It’s going to be an adjustment, but I’m excited to see what happens. This might be a great way to network and expand my skills.

Anyway, enough about work. How are you? 😅 Are the birds singing where you are? I’ve been spoiling our neighborhood birds and squirrels. My sister-in-law laughed at me yesterday because I have a giant bag of birdseed. And this isn’t even related to anything; this is just the way I’ve always been.

Writing-wise, everything’s still going well. I think the 500-words-a-day pacing has been much better for my brain, and it’s also been way more doable during all of these hectic changes. Just hope I don’t read it back when it’s finished and realize it’s not good. (I doubt that’ll happen, but we writers are tough self-critics.)

We watched Hamilton on my birthday-eve last Friday and I was struck by how much it ends up being Eliza’s story. It’s a little bit like Rocket in Guardians of the Galaxy.

”My beloved raccoon, the story has been yours all along, you just didn’t know it.”

Dang, I think I may have stumbled upon the best tattoo idea for me.

Oh no, love, you’re not alone.

Sara Mazariegos

This year has been so overwhelming and it’s only March. 😵 I’m caught between wanting to know what’s going on and feeling depressed and helpless when I do read about things.

A sense of unreality settles in at times. How can any of this be real? How/Why are we letting it happen?

I wrote on my various social media pages on Monday morning: I will try to enjoy each day in some way. Sort of an “it’s the little things” mantra, but we all need the little things right now, don’t we?

I keep thinking about the next time we go to Disney and our next trips this year (yes, in that order. I love Disney parks.) Having things to look forward to keeps me going. Right now, they’re just dreams, though. But it’s good to have dreams.

When I started planning my latest novel, I considered my options for writing it each day and not feeling so burdened by word count goals. I read that successful authors like Graham Greene and Ernest Hemingway wrote five hundred words a day. I’ve been following their lead and, so far, it’s going well. I like that I can feel a bit more immersed in the scenes I’m working on instead of being so hung up on the idea of quotas and “gotta finish this chapter in one sitting.” I can sit with things a little longer, which allows both myself and my story to breathe.

My new novel involves time travel, confronting past selves, and accidentally falling in love along the way. If you like Sophie Cousens, you will like it. That’s my goal, anyway. It’s currently sitting pretty at 3,000 words. 😅

Enjoy each day in some way, my friends. Take care of yourselves.

Pity the child who has ambition.

Sara Mazariegos

I recently listened to Peter Gabriel’s Scratch My Back and And I’ll Scratch Yours albums. They remind me of when I’ve tried to get people in on my creative projects. I once had a video collaboration channel on YouTube with some friends; that’s the first example that comes to mind, but I’ve had other attempts at getting people to collaborate with me over the years. It’s rough. People have their own lives and schedules. I get it. But it’s also frustrating and disheartening when people fail to follow through and abandon things, especially when they’re things I’ve put my whole heart into. (No grievance or anything toward my video collab friends. It’s not easy to keep up the enthusiasm on a weekly basis.)

Peter Gabriel’s two albums are like that, because he recorded covers of various artists’ songs in the hopes that they’d return the favor and cover one of his songs. Several of them did, but several didn’t… and a few of them delayed the album because their covers came in late. (Looking at you, Regina Spektor.) I feel for him, because his zest for creative collaboration is always at the forefront of his musical projects. Similarly, Paul McCartney wanted Sgt. Pepper to be a concept album and only got two songs into it before it fell apart. Not my favorite Beatles album by any means, but I can empathize with him.

I can also understand the other three not wanting Paul to tell them what to do.

Speaking of Sir Paul, did you watch the Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary Special? It was… not what I hoped for. 😬 A lot of people have said “watch the documentaries if you want to see the older stuff” but that’s no excuse for those sketches they performed. Most of them were too recent to even feel special. My favorite was when Linda Richman (Mike Myers) appeared on Bronx Beat, but it was awkwardly long. I was glad to see Laraine Newman and Garrett Morris getting some love, but if it was up to me there would have been a much better balance between the older players and the newer ones.

Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg’s songs were my favorite parts. Adam Sandler really loves his friends.

The writing break is going well. I still think about my stories all the time, but in a laid back sort of way. I’m looking forward to jumping back into writing when we come back from our trip.

We’re flying to California on Saturday. It’s going to be fine. There are thousands of flights every day. It’s going to be fine. I’m looking forward to warmer temperatures and being inside the original Haunted Mansion as many times as possible while still doing other things. 😄

I’ll be back the week of March 3rd!

“He’s making violent love to me, Mother!”

Sara Mazariegos

It feels as though a million things are happening right around our travels. Isn’t that always the way? I have a bunch of stressful things to do at work, meanwhile we have to get our bathroom renovated (again.) The guys who fixed our shower two years ago didn’t really fix the problem; they caused new ones instead. So we’ve got a nice, new plumber who’s going to work on fixing our shower stall and flooring so things don’t leak.

What a concept.

For Valentine’s Day, since it’s our dating anniversary, we’re going to stay at the hotel where we got married. 😊 We got a lakeview room, and reservations at a fancy nearby restaurant. We’re also going to explore the shops around and see Captain America: Brave New World. It’s going to be a nice weekend.

And then, the following weekend, we fly off to California. We spent time with friends last weekend, one of whom is a pilot, so he told us what went wrong with the helicopter and the plane near the Potomac River. He also assured us that flying is safe, especially from Dulles Airport rather than National. That was comforting. Of course, I already knew that there are way more car accidents than airplane crashes. It’s still a rare thing, even if the news has a lot of them lately…

I’ve already read one of my comp books (comparable to my story, for those wondering what “comp” means) but I still bought an e-reader version so I could reread it and reference it for influence. That’s one thing that’s difficult about not owning comps; if I need to check something, I have to get them back from the library. My story that I’m currently outlining is very different from the other novels I’ve written thus far, so I want to make sure I’m plotting things in a way that makes sense. There are rules for time travel.

Luis read through my outline and gave me some good advice that’s made me even more excited by this new idea. Taking a break from writing and letting myself think about things has been very good for me so far. At the beginning of March, when I start writing, I’ll hopefully have an easier time getting going. My last story benefited tremendously from having a solid outline, so I feel optimistic.

Escaping into novels has been the perfect thing for my otherwise anxious brain.

Like a drunk, but not.

Sara Mazariegos

Wow, a lot has happened in the past week.

I joined the Dear Hank and John Patreon livestream on Wednesday and they announced that tickets were on sale for John Green’s new book tour, for Everything is Tuberculosis! As soon as I got home, Luis and I got tickets. I’m so excited! It feels a little odd to be excited since I’m sure it’s going to also be sad and frustrating to learn about, but I’m still excited to see him again and hear his latest work. We haven’t seen John in person since 2017, when he gave us a lime green Kitchenaid mixer as a wedding present. Something like that’s not going to happen again, but it will still be a great show.

John and Hank Green led to Luis and me meeting, so I couldn’t pass up the chance to see John again. Hopefully Hank will come to D.C. again someday, too.

Many places in Los Angeles have been burned in wildfires, which is scary and sad, and nerve-wracking because we’re going to be there in a little over a month. I’ve donated to redcross.org to help. Los Angeles has been on my mind a lot over the past week.

And then there’s this whole thing with Neil Gaiman. *Deep Sigh*

In writing news, I finished listening to my novel (as read by a phone app!) Luis listened along with me, and he told me he really likes it, though he’s a bit biased. 😏 Now the goal is to read it through and make edits. Thankfully, I didn’t find anything glaring that needs to change, plotwise, so that’s a relief. Restructuring and rewriting really did the trick.

I’m currently reading How to End a Love Story by Yulin Kuang and I really like it. I’ve noticed that she repeats the descriptor “Victorian” all the time, which is amusing because it escaped edits and read-throughs for her. It makes me think about what words or phrases I might’ve overused. I’ll focus on fixing things like that this first go-around of editing.

Victorianly,

Every night’s another reason why I left it all.

Sara Mazariegos

I started having my computer read my It’s A Wonderful Life-inspired novel out loud, so I can hear how it sounds and find typos/repetition/things like that. It’s exciting to hear my story come to life, even if the voice sounds like a computer lady, because it is.

I’m trying not to make changes at the moment, though I did go in and fix the typos/repetition that I found, because those are easy fixes that don’t need to pass into the next draft. I want the next draft to be ready for the bigger changes. Hopefully I won’t have too many, since this isn’t the first time I’ve written this story. 😅

Meanwhile, ideas for my next story keep falling into my brain. I got one idea for a plot and it just sort of snowballed from there. I have an outline file to store everything for now, since I’m focusing on polishing the other story first.

Just when I’d started to wonder if I’d ever have another idea for a story…

This one is about shyness and past selves. It’s inspired by going through all of my old emails, and some of the nearly-but-not-wholly-forgotten heartaches that lurked within. I won’t say more than that for now, since I’m only at the beginning of thinking about it. Just reading the old emails has been A Lot.

On a lighter note: Luis made fun of me for laughing at something I’d written in my novel. I didn’t remember it, and the computer lady voice made it extra amusing. Imagine Jimmy Stewart’s words coming out of a female robot.

“I’m shaking the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I’m gonna see the world!”

Sara Mazariegos

I finished writing my novel’s second draft on Monday! 🎉 It was much easier to write this time, largely because I retooled my outline and gave myself enough time to really think it through before writing it all out. We watched It’s A Wonderful Life again on the 14th, and it inspired my final push to the end. My novel is very different, but it’s influenced by that movie, sort of like how Planes, Trains, and All The Feels by Livy Hart is clearly inspired by Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. It gave me the initial “Hey! I want to do that!” inspiration.

I can’t remember if I’ve shared this story here, but my parents have watched It’s A Wonderful Life every Christmas Eve my entire life. It’s as much a Christmas tradition for me as putting up a decorated tree or opening presents. I still watch it every holiday season, though not on Christmas Eve since that’s become the evening we spend with Luis’s family.

When I was around seven years old, I noticed I couldn’t hear in my right ear. I remember being on the phone with my grandpa and I couldn’t hear him if I switched which ear the phone was up against. I remember thinking, “Huh, that’s weird. I wonder if everyone’s ears are like that.” (I was young.)

I voiced my concern a few years later, because my friends were playing Telephone at a party — another telephone! — and I couldn’t hear the messages being whispered into my right ear. In moments of panic, I just made things up and passed those messages along instead. My friends kept being like, “Where did the message get messed up??” and looking at me. Now, I was a strange and silly child, but in this instance I wasn’t trying to deviate! I was embarrassed about not being able to hear. Looking back, I know I could’ve just turned my head and insisted on using the ear that hears, but at the time it felt like it would break the rules…

When I told my family, they thought I was pretending to be George Bailey because I’d seen that movie every year and I had a penchant for pretending to be my favorite characters.

Now, that’s one thing, but when I was in school, for the hearing test they used to give us with the headphones and the hand raising if you hear the tone on one side or the other, I used to wait until there was a pause and the tester was looking at me expectantly, and then I’d dutifully raise my right hand. “Oh yeah, I definitely heard that…” [Not.]

It wasn’t until I was fifteen that I finally stopped faking and honestly took that test. My parents were told I should go see an ear, nose, and throat doctor. I did more hearing tests. My right cochlea doesn’t work. Records were checked. Apparently, I’ve been deaf in that ear since I was two years old, after a bad fever and ear infection.

So I love George Bailey because I identify with him. Sure, I didn’t save anyone from a frozen lake, but I have the same hearing loss! One thing I noticed this year is that George situates himself at the table with his father on his bad side. I’d never do that! I always make sure the people I’m most trying to hear are on my “good side.” That’s to say nothing of the balance issues he probably should display, etc.

Maybe that’s why he trips at the dance.

Anyway, I finished my writing draft. This is the nifty chart. I’m going to take a break from it for at least two weeks. How handy that the holidays are at the same time. 😄


I hope you have happy holidays and a happy, joyous New Year! Try not to stress too much about the future. That’s probably my resolution.


P.S. The “George Bailey” character in my novel doesn’t have hearing loss. That would be too similar to the original. I gave him something else of mine: he has car anxiety.

“Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for.”

Sara Mazariegos

When I was in seventh grade, at the start of middle school, I decided I wanted a nickname. The trouble was that I didn’t really have a nickname, so I tried to test one out by only telling one of my classes — Intro to Foreign Languages — to call me Shelly. I didn’t count on one of my classmates in that class being in one of my other classes… She approached me and said something like, “You told us to call you Shelly in one class, but you don’t go by that name in this class.”

So, Shelly never really caught on.

It’s funny how I don’t remember the girl’s name. I remember her as Spoilsport. 😝

Growing up, I always wanted a nickname. My name is so short that I don’t really need one. I invented all my own nicknames. Other ones are Sar Bear, Sar Bear Extraordinaire, SBE (all the same, and all used by a specific friend group but 100% invented by me.) I also got one friend to call me Pizza for like a year. And Luis just reminded me about the time when I was twelve and told a friend’s visiting friend (from England!) that my nickname was Gadget. I was big into Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers at the time. This friend’s friend went along with it because he’d just met me and had no reason to question me. My friend called me out on it right away. Curses! I still think it would be so awesome to be called Gadget.

But Sara, stop trying to make “Gadget” a thing. It’s not a thing.

Speaking of nostalgia, I finally started clearing out my emails in my main inbox. I had nearly a million (I know!) so it’s, uh, past time for this. I went all the way back to my oldest emails in 2009 and I’ve been working my way through, only keeping emails I want to keep for sentimental purposes. I’ll probably eventually still delete many of the literary roleplaying game ones, but for now, they can stay.

I found the Facebook notification from when Luis added me, back in January 2012. 🥲 And his messages on a dating site (after we met in person, at a Nerdfighter gathering!) Those will all definitely be kept in my virtual shoebox.

I don’t know why I’ve been so nostalgic lately. It might have something to do with the fact that the future is looking more scary…

Anyway, in writing news, I got to 74,000 words yesterday. It’s going so well, it’s almost boring to blog about, haha! Everything’s falling into place, unlike last time I attempted writing this novel. I’ve deviated slightly from my outline, but only because other ideas came to me that move the story forward in a better way. I’m looking forward to being done (tentatively on Monday!) And then I can read the thing, after a Christmas/New Years break.

Do you hang onto anything because of nostalgia? At least emails don’t take up space in my house, though I only have so much space in my inbox.

Nostalgically yours,

“Say, brainless, don’t you know where coconuts come from?”

Sara Mazariegos

Welp.

There’s not much to say. The election yesterday has shown that there are too many misguided, uncaring people in America. I’m doing my best to keep taking deep breaths and focusing on my own life, the things I can control. And yes, I will vote again in two years. We have to keep going. We have to keep fighting.

My illness last week turned into laryngitis this week, so on top of everything else, I haven’t been able to talk much for the past few days. I finally got a bit of my voice back last night, but it’s raspy. I’m pretending I sound like Maya Hawke (Anxiety) so I feel better about it. Her voice is cute; my voice isn’t supposed to sound like that.

I’m resting my voice as much as possible. I put up a sign at work to let my coworkers know I can’t speak right now. So far, everyone’s been nice about it. I’m glad I don’t have a job that requires talking. I’d have difficulty with a job like that anyway, though.

Luis and I are watching this silly reality show called Claim to Fame — it features celebrities’ family members in a house and everyone’s objective is to guess who everyone else is related to. The hosts are Kevin Jonas (from The Jonas Brothers) and Franklin Jonas (a Jonas Brother.) Like all reality shows, it’s cheesy, but the mystery-solving aspect is fun.

I’m now convinced reality shows are as popular as they are because they’re comfort television. They don’t involve as much emotional attachment as scripted shows do. I’m not attached to any of these celebrity relatives*. That’d be kind of embarrassing.

As far as the writing’s going… It’s going pretty well so far. Speaking of comfort, my It’s A Wonderful Life story is comforting to me. It’s uplifting and warm and fuzzy, much like the film. That’s my goal, at least. So far, I think I’m tackling this draft better than the last one. It’s funny because no one else read my first draft, but I knew it needed retooling. Usually, I’d at least let Luis read it, but I didn’t want to waste his time when I knew it was going to be overhauled. I’m proud of myself for having the sense to just say, “You know what, this needs to be redone entirely. I’m going to take a break and try again.”

Last November was not a good time to try to write it, but this November might give me way more motivation. It’s certainly looking that way.

Ha. Heh. Haaaa. 😞


* Except for Pepper. She’s my favorite and I hope she wins, but she probably won’t.