Happy John John Sean Day to all who celebrate! Today is the birthday of John Lennon, John Entwistle, and Sean Lennon, in that order.
Our trip to Tacoma went well. The ceremony was brief and not as overwhelming as I thought it might be. We also went to the zoo and spent time with my cousins and my cousin’s son, so that was nice. I’m realizing now that it’ll be slight whiplash going from that trip (which involved long flights) to going on our next trip this weekend (shorter flight, but literally this Saturday so not a lot of time between.) At least I didn’t experience much jet lag.
Being back at work has been a drag thus far, though.
I wrote a decent amount on Monday, largely because I took a sick day to recuperate. I highly recommend giving yourself a day after your vacation to rest. Better chance of mentally preparing.
Yesterday, I was so slammed with work that I couldn’t write very much, which made me feel bad but I don’t write well when I’m already feeling burnt out, so I let it slide. I’ve reached 60,000 words though! I’m within the last 20% of my story. The path forward is clear. And then… my reward is more writing because I want to rewrite my holiday story in November-December.
Am I crazy? Yeah, maybe.
I just got an email from the library. I have to return House of Leaves way before I’ve finished it. I’m not surprised. I’ll just put it on hold again. 😅 It’ll give me time to finish the other two books I’m reading. I definitely overdid the library books last time.
Maybe I should just buy it. It’s such a slippery slope.
I have a good problem to have. We’re flying this week, and I have three library books. I’m planning on taking the one I’m currently reading that’s a manageable size (House of Leaves is massive so that one can stay home.) I also have another book, A Werewolf’s Guide to Seducing a Vampire, that I’m really looking forward to reading but I’m trying to finish one of the others first. As a slow reader, I didn’t mean to have three books at once! But I’m juggling them as best I can.
So I can’t decide if I should bring the smaller book I’m reading (Bride by Ali Hazelwood) or the werewolf/vampire book. I shouldn’t bring both, because of limited bag space.
As I said, it’s a good problem to have.
The other night, we watched Cat People, which is a spooky movie featuring the song by David Bowie. It was good, not as cheesy as I expected, and it stars a bunch of actors I like. It’s my first real exposure to Annette O’Toole (not like that! Though she is topless in a scene…) There are three actors with connections to Catherine O’Hara in it — Annette O’Toole is married to Michael McKean who’s her frequent co-star in Christopher Guest movies; Ed Begley Jr. is frequently in movies with her as well; and John Heard is her husband in Home Alone. Interesting coincidence.
In writing news, I’m plugging along. I’ve been doing more making it up as I go along than usual, but it’s been enjoyable to write.
The other day, I thought of a good opening line for a different story. It would be nice if my brain could focus on the story at hand, but I’ll write it down for the future.
Speaking of the future, we’re going to Washington State this week for my grandfather’s celebration of life. I bought a black dress for the occasion, but I’ve since been informed that people should wear brighter colors because it’s going to be more like a party than a funeral. I have no idea what to expect; I just hope my family will be nice.
Then I work a week before Luis and I head to Cleveland for our anniversary!
I’ve been feeling the witchy vibes more this year, probably because the novel I’m currently writing involves a witch. We also recently watched The Witches of Eastwick and the first episode of Agatha All Along. I like that you can be creative with witches; they don’t all have to be hag-like or even bad. Obviously, this is proven in The Wizard of Oz, but it’s still nice to be reminded of how varied they can be.
I’ve never seen or read Wicked but I’m hoping to see the movie when it comes out this year. The book lives on my shelf to be eventually read. I love The Wizard of Oz so I feel a little “hmm” about it. I have to go into it with an open mind.
One thing I’m slowly teaching myself (read: forcing myself to learn) is to write even when the words/sentences are coming out very basically. It’s difficult to turn off the critical parts of the brain that think, “This could be worded so much better!” or “This scene could be described much more visually!” But if I allow myself to stall because things aren’t immediately coming to me as well-written novels, then I’ll never actually get the story written. They say the first draft is you telling yourself the story. I’m trying to lean into that more, and just imagine out the plot. I can make it pretty later.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t been surprising myself occasionally with turns of phrase, humorous dialogue, or even imagery that I thought I couldn’t master this first go around. I’ve been sharing the best of these with Luis, so he can enjoy them. It remains to be seen how much will stay in the story. This is a first draft, after all. And, by law, it’s a mess.
I leave you with this beat poem by Tim Minchin that’s been playing in my head at times lately. I had it memorized at one point before I had more important things to remember. 😛
Inner North London, top floor flat, all white walls, white carpet, white cat, rice paper partition, modern art and ambition… (Okay, I still have the beginning memorized)
This has been a weird year. I’m repeatedly struck, when I look at my calendar, at how bonkersly* everything has gone down so far. Things started out normally, but then April happened and kind of torpedoed things.
I can’t believe we’re nearing the end of September already. When my husband and I bought tickets to see Electric Light Orchestra (next week!) we were in a different circumstantial place, in many ways. One in which going to a concert after work on a Wednesday was totally fine.
Now, with Luis’s job restructuring, Wednesdays are busy days for him. I’m sure it will be fine, but it’s strange to think how quickly things can change. Makes planning for the future difficult, but it’s so necessary. As I’ve said, having things to look forward to really helps keep me going.
My boss is out this week, so I’ve had a fairly easier-going time. That doesn’t mean it’s been easier for me to get writing done, though. I have a “funny” mental block sometimes when I’m at work. I feel guilty for writing even though I have the free time in which to do so. I’ve just got too good of a gosh-darn work ethic, I suppose.
I’ve been having a difficult time reaching my target word counts lately. I think I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the plans we have coming up, and it’s a busy time of year in general. I haven’t had to move the goalposts yet, but I fear I may end up writing this current story longer than I initially intended. I’m not going to stop writing it; I’m going to give myself the grace to finish it in my own time.
Two of my family members died this year, within a few months of each other. And one of my friends died. It’s only natural that I’d be feeling a little mentally drained, right?
I keep telling myself I’m making excuses. But sometimes excuses are valid, aren’t they?
*I know it’s not a word, but you know what it means, don’t you?
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was as good as an unnecessary sequel could be. I enjoyed it, though it’s not as good as the original. We saw it with someone who said he liked it more than the first one. He’s a crazy person.
We finally finished the third season of Stranger Things. I started watching the show again after seeing Inside Out and wanting to see more of Maya Hawke. 🫣 I don’t really care about the others; I’m watching it for Robin and Steve.
I started reading House of Leaves at Luis’s recommendation. It’s over 700 pages and due in two weeks. We’ll see if I can finish it or if I’ll have to put it on hold again. It looks like a textbook! But it reads more like a spooky story. I have no idea what to expect.
Writingwise, things aren’t too shabby. I’m at 32K words now, but planning to reach 34K by the end of the day. I hit a big plot point with only a little blushing. This story is fun, even if I’m not sure how well it would do in the literary market.
Luis and I are planning to go to California/Disneyland next February. I’ve only been there once, so I’m very excited. It’s also exciting to explore such a different area with him. I wonder if we’ll see any celebrities this time. (Last time, I saw Alan Cumming eating lunch, Eric McCormack out with his kids at Universal, and Arsenio*… he appeared kind of out of nowhere and was excited to be recognized.)
We’re mainly going to “tourist” places this time, so we might only see fellow tourists. I shan’t hold my breath about running into any famous people.
This weekend, we’re going to our second Spirit Halloween (hopefully.) Finding open stores isn’t easy, but it’s early yet. I’m so excited for Halloween season! I’m always on a quest for more Haunted Mansion stuff.
The timing of this post turned out to be more prescient than I thought it would be. Good lord. I planned to write about how I feel less pressured/guilty when writing without NaNoWriMo or any other progress tracker looming over me. I’ve been keeping track of my word count each day simply by putting it into my calendar, and I gave myself a loose end goal of 2 weeks before NaNoWriMo+ starts…
Now I suppose I should feel even less concerned about using the official NaNoWriMo site. They’re apparently allowing their users’ writing to train AI and other such nonsense. 😲 I’ll stick to Pacemaker, thanks. I still plan to write/revise a novel in November through mid-December, but I won’t use NaNoWriMo’s website to help motivate me. It’s unfortunate for all the young writers who look forward to it each year. I hope a lot of users leave it and stop donating.
My current novel is easy to write, somehow. It helps that I carefully outlined it and I’m playing with some quirky fantasy ideas. It feels like there are fewer rules with magical romance. As long as there’s a happily ever after. (Of course there is!) Some people think it’s unnecessary for a romance to end happily, but they’re wrong.
Speaking of the rules of romance novels, I’ve noticed for at least the second time that the book I’m currently reading — this time it’s The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston — has such negative reviews on Goodreads that I keep thinking “Did we read the same book?”
I know different people have different tastes, but people can be so heated and mean on there. I happen to LOVE this book, if it’s not obvious. It’s a spooky love story with ghosts, gallows humor, and even a few Haunted Mansion references! What’s not for Sara to like?? I got a copy from my local library but I have since put it onto my gift wishlist because I feel I must own a copy.
Nine out of ten times, I want to own the book I’m reading.
Speaking of spooky stuff, we’re seeing Beetlejuice Beetlejuice this weekend! It got better reviews than I expected. I’m relieved. I still doubt it’s better than the first one. It’s hard to be better than Tim Burton’s best movie.
Reader, I make no secret that I have unilateral hearing loss. When I was about two, I had a too-high fever treated by (according to my mom) a too-high dose of medication administered by a military base doctor. The little hairs in my cochlea were destroyed, so my right ear is purely for symmetry aesthetics.
Aside from not being able to hear on that side (think George Bailey) I also don’t have great balance. This was exemplified on Sunday. I was walking with my husband, a bit distracted by distant firetrucks, when I tripped on the sidewalk and fell. I scraped my left arm pretty well, bleeding near my elbow and scratches all along the side of my hand. I also bruised both knees (no holes in my jeans, though! Explain that!) And I have a mysterious scrape on my right wrist and a tiny one on my right middle finger’s knuckle. For three days, my body was sore, and moving my arms was achy. I’m finally feeling more normal today, except for an annoying persistent ache by my elbow where I took the most damage.
I didn’t break or sprain anything. I didn’t even damage my glasses. Luis said he was worried I’d hurt my “pretty face” and he was impressed that I caught myself so I didn’t hurt myself worse.
I can’t remember falling like that before. I’m sure, since I have bad balance, I have taken falls before but they must’ve been when I was a kid. I remember falling off my bike, but that’s a different situation. I trip often, but this was the first time in recent memory the pavement beat me. Falling felt so strange, too. As it was happening, everything felt like it slowed down and sped up at the same time. When I first tripped, it felt like a normal, run-of-the-mill trip and I’d just catch myself. But then I kept falling and I got scared. I yelped out something like “Noo!” that I remember thinking, even at the time, sounded so silly.
When Luis came to see if I was okay or needed help, I started laughing. I had a choice in that moment, to start crying or to laugh it off. I chose laughter. It was close, though. Pain is painful and falling is scary.
And that is why I didn’t write on Sunday or Monday. I rested my body and allowed myself to recover instead of trying to type through the pain or think of cute things when I was feeling freaked out by the experience. I’m glad I don’t fall often. I’m afraid of that particular part of sidewalk now.
I wrote over two thousand words yesterday, so my story is no worse for wear.
I was thinking yesterday about the unhelpful thoughts I give myself sometimes. It’s like an anti-pep talk. I tell myself “It’s okay, you can stop now. You don’t need to write more.” Even though I want to write more and my writing goal for the day is totally attainable. For example, yesterday I made my goal be to reach 18K words from 16K words. That’s my normal word count goal (on a good day) so it’s no problem. But sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and starts wanting me to slack off. I got to 17K and fought with my mind until I pushed myself to 18K. Because stopping at 17,500 words is not okay on my watch.
I know how to fall and get back up without breaking anything, not even my glasses. Two thousand words can’t keep me down.
Do you ever look back through the calendar and get hit with a wave of “Oh yeah! We did that!”?
My husband and I have a shared Google Calendar for everything from work stuff to personal events and planning. It helps us remember to do things, and it also helps give our days some semblance of structure. Otherwise, it’s so easy to fall into the YouTube hole or end up like the vultures in Disney’s The Jungle Book.
I’ve found lately that I’ll go back through things we’ve done and marvel at how swiftly things are forgotten or no longer appreciated. I try to live in the moment while I’m enjoying things, but it can’t last forever. Eventually, the moment passes and life goes on. Life is busy, and it often grinds you down, so it’s nice to have this little reminder of the places we’ve been and the things we’ve done. For example, we went to Disney World this year. That’s wild, man.
My college friend posted on Facebook yesterday, and it sent me on a similar wave of nostalgia. I don’t associate my time in college with too many good memories. (I spent a lot of it alone in my room watching things or playing online, because socializing isn’t fun for me.) But the friends I did spend time with are special to me. I had good times with them. It was nice to remember. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like the me from back then was the same me that’s me.
I’ve read a few novels recently that involve people remembering their friends from years ago. It might be fun to explore a plot about that at some point. I’m always thinking up the next idea.
My current story writing is going well. It’s been slower than usual, but I think it’s okay because it’s the first draft. I’ve spent a lot of my writing processes trying to cram a whole novel into about a month and a half, a la NaNoWriMo. But this story has said no and is making me take my time to let it breathe. I’ve hit a point now where the words are flowing more easily, though, which is good for my deadline-centric brain.
I hope to be finished with it before November, so I can give my NaNoWriMo novel revision the attention it deserves.
This weekend, we’re going to the National Book Festival, and then we’ll finally see Tim Minchin. I hope I come away with a lot of inspiration, but no more new books! 😆
Luis and I saw It Ends With Us last weekend. I keep accidentally calling it The Last of Us, but that’s not fair to The Last of Us. If you’re not aware of It Ends With Us, it’s a romantic drama starring Blake Lively, based on the Colleen Hoover novel by the same name. It’s controversial in how it deals with domestic violence. It’s also apparently controversial because Blake Lively and the director had different visions. My vision is perhaps this movie didn’t need to get made.
It’s funny because, initially, I thought it wasn’t as bad as I first imagined. It got pretty bad reviews, but romance movies are often harshly judged. But then I had more time to think about it when I wasn’t watching it anymore. And yeah, there is a lot that’s messed up about it. (I still love Jenny Slate, though. She’s in it as the best friend who kind of shows up in the story to bethe best friend.)
Anyway, it’s a good lesson in how not to write things… Then again, Colleen Hoover is very successful, so it’s working for her. It definitely made me think. I don’t think I’ll read the book.
Speaking of books, I’m getting close to the end of The Good Part — that sounds sad — and I love it so much. It’s not what I thought it would be. It’s way more heartwarming. I also recently started reading The Dead Romantics. Both of these books should round out my reading challenge to read 15 books this year. I’m not going to stop reading, of course. It’s only August! 😅
The Dead Romantics is in past tense, which is throwing me a little now that I’ve read a few present tense novels. I know I once wrote that I don’t like present tense, and I still prefer past tense, but present has grown on me. It makes it feel as though you’re a part of the story, instead of watching it unfold. I think it works for certain stories more than others.
My new novel I’m working on is in present tense, so I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I’m trying something new! It’s a little intimidating, but I’m enjoying it so far. It’s bridging the gap between the last novel I wrote and the one I’m planning for November.
A lot of my blog post titles are Kate Bush lyrics. I always end up listening to her when I’m writing these entries.
Wuthering Heights as a novel didn’t do much for me, mainly because it’s a story told from a random perspective. And then there’s the character I can’t understand at all. But somehow, the story still stays with me. The spooky ghost stuff always gets me in the end.
It feels like a lot has happened, but it’s mostly just a lot of hopeful ideas and planning that’s been going on. I thought of another novel idea, so I’ve been working on it as a sort of “summer fling” before NaNoWriMo in November. I thought of the idea when I was half awake on Saturday. If Paul McCartney has taught me anything, great ideas can strike when one is semi-conscious*!
It’s a romance novel inspired by my cat.
Bookwise, I’ve finished reading the book about Sophie Scholl (with much sadness for her and her brother and compatriots.) I’ll work on plotting out the novel based loosely on her at some point in the future. I’ve hit my limit with story ideas now. I can only think about so much. 😅
I’ve started reading The Good Part by Sophie Cousens and it’s been a warm reminder that I adore Sophie Cousens novels. It’s also nearly made me burst into tears a few times. It’s delightful. A lot of toddler grossness, but in a cute way? It might be my favorite of her books (so far.)
Tomorrow is Luis’s birthday. I’m taking the day off and taking him out to a fancy seafood dinner. He’s been working so hard with a big transition at his job, so I hope to help him have a great weekend.
I hope you have a great weekend too.
*He claims to have written both “Yesterday” and “Yellow Submarine” while in this dreamlike state.
Sara Mazariegos 