Tag: About Me

Where the f did Monday go?

Sara Mazariegos

This has been a weird year. I’m repeatedly struck, when I look at my calendar, at how bonkersly* everything has gone down so far. Things started out normally, but then April happened and kind of torpedoed things.

I can’t believe we’re nearing the end of September already. When my husband and I bought tickets to see Electric Light Orchestra (next week!) we were in a different circumstantial place, in many ways. One in which going to a concert after work on a Wednesday was totally fine.

Now, with Luis’s job restructuring, Wednesdays are busy days for him. I’m sure it will be fine, but it’s strange to think how quickly things can change. Makes planning for the future difficult, but it’s so necessary. As I’ve said, having things to look forward to really helps keep me going.

My boss is out this week, so I’ve had a fairly easier-going time. That doesn’t mean it’s been easier for me to get writing done, though. I have a “funny” mental block sometimes when I’m at work. I feel guilty for writing even though I have the free time in which to do so. I’ve just got too good of a gosh-darn work ethic, I suppose.

I’ve been having a difficult time reaching my target word counts lately. I think I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the plans we have coming up, and it’s a busy time of year in general. I haven’t had to move the goalposts yet, but I fear I may end up writing this current story longer than I initially intended. I’m not going to stop writing it; I’m going to give myself the grace to finish it in my own time.

Two of my family members died this year, within a few months of each other. And one of my friends died. It’s only natural that I’d be feeling a little mentally drained, right?

I keep telling myself I’m making excuses. But sometimes excuses are valid, aren’t they?

*I know it’s not a word, but you know what it means, don’t you?

“Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.”

Sara Mazariegos

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was as good as an unnecessary sequel could be. I enjoyed it, though it’s not as good as the original. We saw it with someone who said he liked it more than the first one. He’s a crazy person.

We finally finished the third season of Stranger Things. I started watching the show again after seeing Inside Out and wanting to see more of Maya Hawke. 🫣 I don’t really care about the others; I’m watching it for Robin and Steve.

I started reading House of Leaves at Luis’s recommendation. It’s over 700 pages and due in two weeks. We’ll see if I can finish it or if I’ll have to put it on hold again. It looks like a textbook! But it reads more like a spooky story. I have no idea what to expect.

Writingwise, things aren’t too shabby. I’m at 32K words now, but planning to reach 34K by the end of the day. I hit a big plot point with only a little blushing. This story is fun, even if I’m not sure how well it would do in the literary market.

Luis and I are planning to go to California/Disneyland next February. I’ve only been there once, so I’m very excited. It’s also exciting to explore such a different area with him. I wonder if we’ll see any celebrities this time. (Last time, I saw Alan Cumming eating lunch, Eric McCormack out with his kids at Universal, and Arsenio*… he appeared kind of out of nowhere and was excited to be recognized.)

We’re mainly going to “tourist” places this time, so we might only see fellow tourists. I shan’t hold my breath about running into any famous people.

This weekend, we’re going to our second Spirit Halloween (hopefully.) Finding open stores isn’t easy, but it’s early yet. I’m so excited for Halloween season! I’m always on a quest for more Haunted Mansion stuff.


*”WOO WOO WOO!” I think that’s how to spell it.

Falling for the first time.

Sara Mazariegos

Reader, I make no secret that I have unilateral hearing loss. When I was about two, I had a too-high fever treated by (according to my mom) a too-high dose of medication administered by a military base doctor. The little hairs in my cochlea were destroyed, so my right ear is purely for symmetry aesthetics.

Aside from not being able to hear on that side (think George Bailey) I also don’t have great balance. This was exemplified on Sunday. I was walking with my husband, a bit distracted by distant firetrucks, when I tripped on the sidewalk and fell. I scraped my left arm pretty well, bleeding near my elbow and scratches all along the side of my hand. I also bruised both knees (no holes in my jeans, though! Explain that!) And I have a mysterious scrape on my right wrist and a tiny one on my right middle finger’s knuckle. For three days, my body was sore, and moving my arms was achy. I’m finally feeling more normal today, except for an annoying persistent ache by my elbow where I took the most damage.

I didn’t break or sprain anything. I didn’t even damage my glasses. Luis said he was worried I’d hurt my “pretty face” and he was impressed that I caught myself so I didn’t hurt myself worse.

I can’t remember falling like that before. I’m sure, since I have bad balance, I have taken falls before but they must’ve been when I was a kid. I remember falling off my bike, but that’s a different situation. I trip often, but this was the first time in recent memory the pavement beat me. Falling felt so strange, too. As it was happening, everything felt like it slowed down and sped up at the same time. When I first tripped, it felt like a normal, run-of-the-mill trip and I’d just catch myself. But then I kept falling and I got scared. I yelped out something like “Noo!” that I remember thinking, even at the time, sounded so silly.

When Luis came to see if I was okay or needed help, I started laughing. I had a choice in that moment, to start crying or to laugh it off. I chose laughter. It was close, though. Pain is painful and falling is scary.

And that is why I didn’t write on Sunday or Monday. I rested my body and allowed myself to recover instead of trying to type through the pain or think of cute things when I was feeling freaked out by the experience. I’m glad I don’t fall often. I’m afraid of that particular part of sidewalk now.

I wrote over two thousand words yesterday, so my story is no worse for wear.

I was thinking yesterday about the unhelpful thoughts I give myself sometimes. It’s like an anti-pep talk. I tell myself “It’s okay, you can stop now. You don’t need to write more.” Even though I want to write more and my writing goal for the day is totally attainable. For example, yesterday I made my goal be to reach 18K words from 16K words. That’s my normal word count goal (on a good day) so it’s no problem. But sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and starts wanting me to slack off. I got to 17K and fought with my mind until I pushed myself to 18K. Because stopping at 17,500 words is not okay on my watch.

I know how to fall and get back up without breaking anything, not even my glasses. Two thousand words can’t keep me down.

You don’t know what you just read.

Sara Mazariegos

Do you ever look back through the calendar and get hit with a wave of “Oh yeah! We did that!”?

My husband and I have a shared Google Calendar for everything from work stuff to personal events and planning. It helps us remember to do things, and it also helps give our days some semblance of structure. Otherwise, it’s so easy to fall into the YouTube hole or end up like the vultures in Disney’s The Jungle Book.


I’ve found lately that I’ll go back through things we’ve done and marvel at how swiftly things are forgotten or no longer appreciated. I try to live in the moment while I’m enjoying things, but it can’t last forever. Eventually, the moment passes and life goes on. Life is busy, and it often grinds you down, so it’s nice to have this little reminder of the places we’ve been and the things we’ve done. For example, we went to Disney World this year. That’s wild, man.

My college friend posted on Facebook yesterday, and it sent me on a similar wave of nostalgia. I don’t associate my time in college with too many good memories. (I spent a lot of it alone in my room watching things or playing online, because socializing isn’t fun for me.) But the friends I did spend time with are special to me. I had good times with them. It was nice to remember. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like the me from back then was the same me that’s me.

I’ve read a few novels recently that involve people remembering their friends from years ago. It might be fun to explore a plot about that at some point. I’m always thinking up the next idea.

My current story writing is going well. It’s been slower than usual, but I think it’s okay because it’s the first draft. I’ve spent a lot of my writing processes trying to cram a whole novel into about a month and a half, a la NaNoWriMo. But this story has said no and is making me take my time to let it breathe. I’ve hit a point now where the words are flowing more easily, though, which is good for my deadline-centric brain.

I hope to be finished with it before November, so I can give my NaNoWriMo novel revision the attention it deserves.

This weekend, we’re going to the National Book Festival, and then we’ll finally see Tim Minchin. I hope I come away with a lot of inspiration, but no more new books! 😆

I needed to possess you – I hated you – I loved you, too.

Sara Mazariegos

A lot of my blog post titles are Kate Bush lyrics. I always end up listening to her when I’m writing these entries.

Wuthering Heights as a novel didn’t do much for me, mainly because it’s a story told from a random perspective. And then there’s the character I can’t understand at all. But somehow, the story still stays with me. The spooky ghost stuff always gets me in the end.

It feels like a lot has happened, but it’s mostly just a lot of hopeful ideas and planning that’s been going on. I thought of another novel idea, so I’ve been working on it as a sort of “summer fling” before NaNoWriMo in November. I thought of the idea when I was half awake on Saturday. If Paul McCartney has taught me anything, great ideas can strike when one is semi-conscious*!

It’s a romance novel inspired by my cat.

Bookwise, I’ve finished reading the book about Sophie Scholl (with much sadness for her and her brother and compatriots.) I’ll work on plotting out the novel based loosely on her at some point in the future. I’ve hit my limit with story ideas now. I can only think about so much. 😅

I’ve started reading The Good Part by Sophie Cousens and it’s been a warm reminder that I adore Sophie Cousens novels. It’s also nearly made me burst into tears a few times. It’s delightful. A lot of toddler grossness, but in a cute way? It might be my favorite of her books (so far.)

Tomorrow is Luis’s birthday. I’m taking the day off and taking him out to a fancy seafood dinner. He’s been working so hard with a big transition at his job, so I hope to help him have a great weekend.

I hope you have a great weekend too.


*He claims to have written both “Yesterday” and “Yellow Submarine” while in this dreamlike state.

You don’t believe what you write.

Sara Mazariegos

For me, the Olympics are happening in the background, mainly since they’re in a different time zone from me. I’ve mostly learned about who won what after the fact. I’m most excited about the U.S. gymnastics teams — men and women — this time. Gymnastics is the closest to my favorite Olympic sports: figure skating and ice dancing.

I don’t love winter, but I love the Winter Olympics.

Since my last post, I inhaled one of the books I was reading. It almost made me sob at work. (I read Kindle copies at work. 🤫) It’s called The Astonishing Color of After. I recommend it, but I don’t want to say anything more because it’s better to go in without knowing anything about the plot.

I finished reading it yesterday and I started in March, to give you an idea of how slow of a reader I can be at times.

Just need to read four more books to reach my Goodreads goal for the year (15 books!) I currently have the final four in my possession. *pushes up glasses*

In novel revision news, I’m about three chapters away from the end. I keep second-guessing myself with a few plot points. I’m hoping my husband and a few friendly eyes will help either reassure me it doesn’t need drastic changes or confirm my suspicion that a few big changes still need to happen.

My itchy trigger finger always starts to think of just scrubbing all of it and rewriting it from the beginning because of one issue, but that’s not practical. I’ve reached a good point. I just need to strengthen what I have. It feels like trying to see the forest through the trees, but I’m getting there.

I read someone on Threads say it took her fifteen years (!!) to publish her debut novel. Aaahhh. I hope it doesn’t take me that long. I have other novels to write before I die. 😅

What’s your favorite Olympic sport?

It’s just the power to charm.

Sara Mazariegos

First of all, hello to all of my new followers! I didn’t expect my last post to get so much kind attention. I’m happy to have you with me. 😊

I recently bought a copy of Natalie Sue’s I Hope This Finds You Well, and I’ve been enjoying it so much that I almost don’t want to read too much of it at once. Because then it will be over. Does that happen to you when you read? I want to prolong it.

My local library also gave me two books, so I’m suddenly swimming in a wonderful mini pile of new-to-me novels. One is The White Rose, a poetic young adult novel about Sophie Scholl and her brother Hans. I’m reading it as research for my latest story idea. When I used to work at the US Holocaust Museum, I remember often stopping by the wall that told their story. It gave me pause that such young people dared to take a stand, even though it certainly meant death.

The other novel I got from the library is The Dead Romantics. It’s a romance novel (not surprising, right?) involving a ghost, so it appeals to a few of my interests.

When not reading other people’s novels, I’ve been reading my own as I begin revising. My new benchmark will be to submit it to The Shit No One Tells You About Writing again. I feel much more confident now that I’ve revised and rewritten it about three times. 😅 It’s very different from the story it used to be.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just read and write all day?

Googling “derealization,” hating what you find.

Sara Mazariegos

I sure picked a great time to stop writing. My #1 distraction from all the craziness, and I’m not using it right now.

I’ve started reading through my latest draft, though. That’s been interesting. I’m not allowing myself to make any changes yet, just reading through it and making little notes about the changes I intend to make.

Not sure if it’s the relentless heat or the constant barrage of bad news, but I haven’t been having the best summer, mentally. In that regard, perhaps it’s better that I’m not trying to write now. I just wish I could take more of a break than a weekend getaway. (The weekend getaway to National Harbor last weekend was really nice, though. I just want a longer break. 😛)

Anyway, here’s a distraction:

Daily writing prompt
If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?
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Do they have to be alive? If they have to be alive, then I’d probably invite Kate Clayborn or John Green or Neil Gaiman so we could talk about books and writing. If I’m being honest, John Green is at the top of my list anyway, just to talk to him about anything. #fangirl

If they don’t have to be alive, I’d love to have dinner with Jim Henson or Walt Disney or George Harrison (I’d say John, but I have a feeling George would be a nicer guest.) The list of not-alive people I wish I could’ve met grows longer each year.

I finished reading Happy Medium by Sarah Adler and really enjoyed it. There’s a ghost in it, and it kind of has a Ghosts feel to it, so I recommend it if you like that sort of thing. I would’ve had the main character fall in love with the ghost, but that’s just me. 😉

Now I’m reading The Spanish Love Deception by Elena Armas. I was surprised when I got it from the library and saw how long it is! It will be a movie eventually, so I’m ahead of the curve for once. I’m probably going to have to renew it the maximum amount of times since I read slowly and it’s nearly 500 pages long.

Luis and I have also been watching classic SNL episodes, from the 70s to the 2000s. Some of them include Fred Armisen and Kristen Wiig so it feels weird to call them “classic” but they’re not new anymore. We’ve seen one episode from the Eddie Murphy 80s cast so far. That was rough.

I hope you’ve been finding distractions that make you happy.

We’re doing it, we can’t have it all.

Sara Mazariegos
Daily writing prompt
What are you most excited about for the future?
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That depends on how you define “future.” This year, I’m most excited about our anniversary trip to Cleveland, to visit the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame together. I’ve been there at least once (I think I’ve been there twice) but Luis hasn’t been there yet. Now that Alice Cooper’s been inducted, he needs to go see it! Even if it is in Ohio. 😉

Thinking about the future beyond that is kind of scary and stressful. I try to think of things in more “lily pad” terms. I jump from one upcoming event to the next, enjoying the moment as much as I can.

That’s my theory, anyway. I worry about the future an awful lot, so it’s better for me to try and rein it in and only think about the things at hand.

This break from writing is going better than last time. Granted, this blog is still writing, but it’s not fiction so it’s allowed. I’ve come up with a few ideas I want to put into my novel once I’m free to edit it. Certain things in the story have come more into focus now that I’m not trying to hash it out and get to the appropriate word count.

I’m planning to mostly work on this novel this year, and then switch over to revising my more holiday-themed novel at NaNoWriMo time.

I’m looking forward to when the temperatures are well below 90 degrees again.

Bucket of nerves.

Sara Mazariegos
Daily writing prompt
What are you most worried about for the future?
View all responses

What a loaded question.

“What are you not worried about?” is a question with a shorter list of answers. When I saw Inside Out 2, Anxiety reminded me that my work plans to move offices next year, to an office that’s not easily Metro/bus accessible. They’re planning to hire a shuttle to bring me and the other carless plebes to the office each day, but then a) it’ll probably throw off the nice timing I’ve created for myself b) it’ll make leaving early more difficult* and c) it will probably still pick me up/drop me off at the nearest Metro stop, so I’d have to take the bus to it each morning/from it each evening which further increases my commute time. AHHH.

So much uncertainty has made me quite frazzled these past few weeks.

And then there’s the usual, “What does the future hold?” questions. Like “Will I still be at this job in a year?” “Where will my husband be working?” “How much is going to change?”

Change is scary for the anxious. I recommend Inside Out 2.

Anyway.

I finished my novel last Thursday! 🎉 The funny thing about finishing on a Thursday night is that I went to work on Friday and then it was a normal weekend (I do my best not to write much on weekends) so it didn’t feel all that “WOO!” as it might’ve felt if it had been on, like, a Tuesday or something.

As usual, I feel like “What do I do now?” I’m not going to read it until mid-July at the earliest. I already know a lot of it needs to be chopped and diced. I’m at peace with it. I feel less “aww, my perfect baby” this time. I’m ready to pull up my sleeves and edit it!

But I’m giving myself a break first. Especially due to the aforementioned anxiety. Heh.

* I can probably just use rideshare and my company card, but STILL.